To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
