I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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