People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
