Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
