just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize