only if we run a train.
done.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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