My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
