There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
