We're facebook friends in real life
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
