I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
