so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
