We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
