I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
nutella sex= disaster
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
