Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
