Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
