Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
