Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize