He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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