It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
