they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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