He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
