just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
