pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
