I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
