hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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