Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
