Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
