East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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