And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
