I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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