dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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