He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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