Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
