rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's shark week go big or go home
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
