When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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