just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
