i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
