I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
