Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
