we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
