Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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