google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
