Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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