What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize