..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
