would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
