My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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