It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
