i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's blow job season.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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