This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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