all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
