I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
