you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
