Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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