The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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