Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
