I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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