Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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