Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
