dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
