she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize