I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize