and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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