i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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