____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
