The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
