They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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