those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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